Cleaning This Gun
by NightmareSpaz23
Summary: Funny Story that was inspired by the song Cleaning This Gun by Rodney Atkins. KarinXToushirou and a little bit Ichiruki
1. Chapter 1

Cleaning this Gun

A Bleach Fan Fic

AN::/ So this Fan Fiction was inspired by the song "Cleaning this Gun" by Rodney Atkins. I always loved that song, and I can totally see my Dad and older brothers doing the stuff described in the song. So enjoy

Summary:;: Karin & Toushirou are reflecting on a interesting weekend that occurred a few years back. A tale filled with funny, awkward, and interesting topics. KarinXToushirou and some IchigoXRukia.

This is a fan fiction story, I don't own anything.

Chapter 1: Déjà vu

I smiled as I watched the love of my life run across the field to meet me.

Karin had joined her college soccer team; she was in her first year, and was already a star. Karin was doing her nursing degree, and then was planning to go to med school after, and follow in her father's footsteps in becoming a doctor. And as for me, I was living a double life; the soul society's tenth captain and a love-crazed boyfriend.

Thankfully, around five years back I had gotten a growth spurt, so it didn't look like Karin was a petfile that had a child-like boyfriend. No, I finally got a growth spurt and we now both look around the age twenty. I thought my change in size would have stopped people treating me like a kid in the soul society, but no, it didn't change a thing.

Karin leapt in to my arms, and I nearly fell over.

"Toushirou!"

"Karin!" I replied, mocking her enthusiasm.

"When did you get back!"

"About five minutes ago," I replied, hugging Karin and spinning her around.

Karin laughed like a moron, then grabbed my hand and led me out into the middle of the soccer field. I was kind of glad that their wasn't anyone else around the field, because Karin then yelled,

"Hey world! My delinquent elementary school boyfriend is back from the dead!"

I sweat-dropped and then looked up at my girlfriend, who was still smiling like she was insane. I pulled Karin close to me and then gently kissed her.

We broke apart and smiled. Then Karin asked,

"I totally just had a feeling of déjà vu. Has something like this happened before?"

I smiled knowingly. Indeed this had happened before, us kissing in the middle of soccer field, just after I returned to the world of the living. It happened about five years back . . .

I was sitting on my bed, procrastinating on my large amount of stupid homework we had gotten today, when I felt a large spike in spiritual energy. I sat up so fast I got lightheaded and almost fell back onto my bed. I took and deep breathe and then got out off of my bed. Then the energy disappeared just as fast as it appeared. A hollow usually hangs around for a while before it is defeated by Ichigo or Mr. Hat-and-Clogs, or the Quincy or some other people that Ichigo knows, so I ruled out the idea of a hollow. If it wasn't a hollow then it must be a shinigami. My mind jumped at the thought. Maybe Toushirou was able to get away sooner than planned.

I ran down the stairs as fast as I could. When I got to the door I quickly threw off my slippers and slipped my feet into my running shoes. I quickly pulled on my soccer hoodie and ran out the door.

I had to stop and concentrate and think. Once Toushirou was in a faux body I couldn't track his spiritual energy. I thought of the many places that Toushirou liked to go when he was in the World of the Living. He liked the roof of Orihime's, the side railing of the road, the soccer field. The soccer field was the closest, so I decided to try there first.

I ran with all my might; the idea of seeing Toushirou was a good enough motive to do so. By the time I reached the soccer field I was huffing and puffing. When I had calmed down a bit, I looked around the field. In the centre stood the boy that compelled me to go for a 2 kilometer run.

I ran to the boy and jumped on him.

"What-? Get-? Wha? Karin? What are you doing?" said Toushirou.

"Hugging you silly," I replied as I pulled him close.

"Did you run all the way here?" he asked when he saw my flushed complexion.

"Yes," I said. "I needed to know if that spiritual energy was you."

"Are you crazy?" he said. "That's almost 2 and half kilometers!"

"Needed to know," I said into his shoulder.

He sighed and held me close.

"My crazy Kurosaki, I was going to come and see you. You're starting to develop your brother's hasty ways."

I pulled back and then leaned in for a kiss. As always, Toushirou complied and left me breathless in the process. I smiled and then rested my head on Toushirou's shoulder. I was enjoying the peacefulness, until I felt a certain spiritual energy fast approaching.

"Oh shit," said me and Toushirou at the same time.

"Hide Karin!"

"There is no time!"

Toushirou then shoved me behind him in an attempt to hide me from a certain relative of mine. We both agreed when we started this relationship that we wouldn't tell Ichigo because both of us valued our heads.

Ichigo landed by the stands and Rukia appeared beside him.

"Toushirou?" said Ichigo. "Why are you here?"

"It's Captain Hitsugaya, to you!" he growled.

It was Rukia who spotted me. She then asked,

"Captain Hitsugaya, who is that behind you?"

I knew that Toushirou wouldn't be able to come up with a good excuse. So I took a deep breathe and then stepped out from behind him.

"Karin?" said Ichigo. "Why are you here?"

"I was . . .uh . . . greeting Toushirou."

"Why would you be doing that?" said Ichigo. "Wait, how do you even know Toushirou?"

Toushirou growled under his breathe. I sighed and then said,

"I know him Ichi-nii, cause he is my boyfriend." 

I thought my big brother was going to explode.

AN::/ TEEHEE


	2. Chapter 2

Cleaning this Gun

A Bleach Fan Fic

* * *

><p>AN:: So this Fan Fiction was inspired by the song "Cleaning this Gun" by Rodney Atkins. I always loved that song, and I can totally see my Dad and older brothers doing the stuff described in the song. So enjoy

Summary:;: Karin & Toushirou are reflecting on a interesting weekend that occurred a few years back. A tale filled with funny, awkward, and interesting topics. KarinXToushirou and some IchigoXRukia.

This is a fan fiction story, I don't own anything.

* * *

><p>Chapter 2: Manipulation<p>

I thought my older brother was going to explode.

"You bastard!" he screamed and pulled his sword on Toushirou.

He attacked Toushirou, totally forgetting I was remotely close to him. I had to dive out of the way so I wasn't hit by my raging older brother. I ran over to Rukia and then asked her,

"Just let them get it out now?"

She wasn't really paying attention to me or the battle; she looked kind of out of it. I was watching the two boys I cared about greatly battle out there feelings. Rukia's head suddenly popped up and looked at me.

"It's so adorable!"

She suddenly grabbed me and squeezed me tight. I sighed; Matsumoto had the same reaction when she found out. I then thought of a good tactic.

"Rukia, if you want the cuteness to continue, you've got to keep Ichi-nii from killing Toushirou."

Her head popped up and looked toward my brother. Rukia let go of me and then flash stepped directly in front of Toushirou. Ichigo wouldn't attack Toushirou if it was against Rukia's wishes. Ahh, I love manipulating people.

Ichigo stopped mid-swing and then yelled at Rukia,

"Get out of my way! I am going to kill that white headed twerp!"

"No, Ichigo!" she replied. "If you have problems with this, then you can sort them out without destroying a soccer field!"

"Rukia! Move! Please!"

"No."

Ichigo sighed and got out of his battle position. Like I said, Ichigo was helpless against Rukia.

Toushirou relaxed, slightly, but he was tentative about Ichigo's new found control. I ran over to Toushirou and asked,

"He didn't hurt you, did he?"

Toushirou laughed in response.

"Of course not Karin. He wouldn't be able to hurt me in his dreams."

I heard my brother growl behind me. I didn't believe Toushirou. Ichigo could take him out, I really didn't doubt that.

Ichigo approached us along with Rukia. Rukia stood slightly in front of Ichigo like she was going to restrain him if needed.

"How long has this been going on?" said Ichigo, gritting his teeth.

"Long enough," I replied.

Before Ichigo could respond to me Toushirou cut him off.

"Perhaps we should talk about this elsewhere; also in our faux bodies. The hallows will be here soon if we don't. And plus Karin is shivering."

I didn't realize I had been shaking. It really wasn't cold out but, I guess I was shivering out of fear of losing either brother or my boyfriend.

Ichigo was once more cut off; this time by Rukia.

"Good idea Captain. We will meet you at the Kurosaki residence."

Before Ichigo could comment Rukia had him by the ear and was dragging him toward my house. I had to smile. Manipulating feelings is quite fun.

When Ichigo and Rukia were out of sight, I turned to Toushirou and pulled him into a hug.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"I will live. I just watched the two people I love the most battle it out over me. It was pretty frightening."

He pulled me in tighter.

"You aren't going to lose either of us. I promise."

* * *

><p>AN:: Lalalala, teehee. :)


	3. Chapter 3

Cleaning this Gun

A Bleach Fan Fic

* * *

><p>AN:: So this Fan Fiction was inspired by the song "Cleaning this Gun" by Rodney Atkins. I always loved that song, and I can totally see my Dad and older brothers doing the stuff described in the song. So enjoy

Double down! Two chapters 1 day! Hallelujah!

Summary:;: Karin & Toushirou are reflecting on a interesting weekend that occurred a few years back. A tale filled with funny, awkward, and interesting topics. KarinXToushirou and some IchigoXRukia.

This is a fan fiction story, I don't own anything.

* * *

><p>Chapter 3: Adorable!<p>

****Rukia's POV

I grabbed the big strawberry by the ear and started dragging him away.

"Owwwwwwww!" he complained. "Rukia!"

We had made it out of sight before I let go of his ear. He stood up properly and started rubbing the side of his head.

"Rukia! What was that for?"

I didn't turn to look at him, but I said,

"Follow me."

Like the good obedient boy he was, he followed me. I flash stepped back toward the soccer field and hid in a bush, within earshot of the cute adorable couple. Ichigo did the same. They were hugging. Ichigo gritted his teeth, but didn't jump into action.

"Are you alright?" asked Toushirou.

"I will live. I just watched the two people I love the most battle it out over me. It was pretty frightening," Karin replied.

Toushirou tighten his grip on her. And then he replied,

"You aren't going to lose either of us. I promise."

Before Ichigo could do anything stupid, I grabbed his arm and flash stepped both of us out of the hiding spot. I stopped when we reached a safe distance.

"Rukia!" Ichigo complained.

"Oh that is just so cute!"

"Rukia!"

I turned to look at him and asked,

"Yes?"

"Is there a way I can kill Toushirou without the Soul society finding out?"

I smacked him and he went face first into the concrete.

"No stupid! And why would you want to kill Hitsugaya anyways? All it would do is give Karin the worst heartbreak in the history of the world! It would be like taking you away from me!"

I covered my mouth. I couldn't believe I actually just said that to Ichigo. I am pretty sure I was blushing like a crazy person.

Ichigo popped his head out of the concrete. He turned to look at me and said,

"What?"

"Nothing," I replied quickly.

"I am pretty sure that wasn't nothing Rukia," said Ichigo. "If it was nothing you wouldn't be blushing like a mad person. I couldn't hear you. My head was mashed into the concrete."

I gave a breath of relief. He hadn't heard me after all. I may be a Kuchiki but I am not that bold.

"I was saying, why would you want to kill Hitsugaya anyways? All it would do is give Karin the worst heartbreak in the history of the world!"

"So? She would get over it!"

I smashed his face back into the concrete. Seriously, how insensitive can one person be?

I walked on, leaving Ichigo's face in the concrete. I heard him say my name in complaint. I had to smile. Being mad at a strawberry? I don't think that is even possible.

* * *

><p>AN: Adorable no?


	4. Chapter 4

Cleaning this Gun

A Bleach Fan Fic

* * *

><p>AN:: So this Fan Fiction was inspired by the song "Cleaning this Gun" by Rodney Atkins. I always loved that song, and I can totally see my Dad and older brothers doing the stuff described in the song. So enjoy

SO I went to otaFest this weekend. It was unbelievablely fun xD I dressed up as Misa from Death Note

Summary:;: Karin & Toushirou are reflecting on a interesting weekend that occurred a few years back. A tale filled with funny, awkward, and interesting topics. KarinXToushirou and some IchigoXRukia.

This is a fan fiction story, I don't own anything.

* * *

><p>Chapter 4: Family and Tradition<p>

Karin's POV

Toushirou and I took our time walking back to my house. He had offered to carry me and shunpo the way there, but I refused. I wanted to spend as much time as humanly possible with him.

The whole way home he didn't let go of my hand.

Once we had made it home, we both took a deep breath and walked through the front door. I was then ambushed by Yuzu.

"Karin! Where'd you go?"

She then saw Toushirou and said,

"Oh! Hitsugaya-kun, I didn't know you were coming by! I'll go make some tea!"

"No Yuzu, there's no need," said Ichigo coming in behind us.

Yuzu looked at Karin, then to Ichigo, then back at Karin, then to Toushirou, and then back to Ichigo. She quickly excused herself, muttering something about dishes. I wish I could have done the same, but I wasn't leaving Toushirou to suffer the wrath of my older brother by himself.

Ichigo gritted his teeth when he saw my hand intertwined with Toushirou's. Then he said,

"Rukia's already in my room. Let's go."

He led the way up to his room and we followed. Rukia sat on Ichigo's bed when we walked through the door. She squealed quietly when she saw our hands.

Ichigo plopped down on his desks chair, sighed, and then asked,

"How long?"

"Two years," said Toushirou.

"How did you manage to hide it from me for that long?"

"Well Ichi-nii, your spiritual pressure sensing abilities aren't at there peak," I replied.

"And yours are Karin?"

"Well they are obviously better than yours."

Before me and my brother got into an ego fight Rukia said,

"Why don't you take him hunting?"

We all looked at her if she was crazy.

"What?" asked Ichigo.

"Well you know how there was that area that had massive hollow readings?"

Ichigo nodded.

"Well why don't you and Histugaya-taicho, go and hunt hollow and work out your differences?"

We looked at her as if she was crazy again.

"Byakuya-nii used to do it with my potential suitors."

We all looked at her in disbelief.

"You had potential suitors?" asked Ichigo.

Rukia hit the palm of her hand on her head.

"That wasn't the point I was trying to make."

"Well-," said Ichigo.

"I'll do it," said Toushirou.

"What?" said the Kurosaki's at the same time.

"Well it seems as if it may be the only way to work out our differences Ichigo, without scaring the crap out of Karin."

Ichigo was silent for about a minute. I could see the gears turning in his head.

"Fine. We will leave tomorrow morning, and we'll spend the weekend out there. You can't come Karin; I don't want to have to worry about you anymore than I have to. And Toushirou."

His attention turned to Ichigo.

"If you go anywhere near Karin's room tonight I will have your balls as a trophy."

* * *

><p>Toushirou and I then walked out of Ichi-nii's room and down into the living room where we could talk in peace.<p>

"Why on earth did you agree to that!"

"Because like I said, easiest way to-"

"Don't give me that crap Toushirou! He could slaughter you and then blame it on a hollow!"

"Your lack of faith in my ability to take car of myself is shocking," he replied.

"So what? I am worried you are going to be castrated by my older brother!"

Toushirou just laughed.

* * *

><p>Rukia's POV<p>

"That was surprisingly mature of you Ichigo."

"Why is it surprising?"

"Well you did try to kill him earlier today."

"Ya, whatever."

"And to answer your question earlier, yes I did have suitors. I am a member of a noble family; of course I had suitors."

"Hmm," was his response.

* * *

><p>AN: So that is that. I kinda haven't updated in a while. Teehee. Been way to busy, left the country, went to otafest. Just busy.


	5. Author's Note

AN:/ Hey, I'm sorry I haven't updated this story. And I am also sorry that you believed I had another chapter to upload. I am the worst for starting stories and never finishing them! I am trying my hardest to finish the next chapter; I am about three quarters done. Hopefully I can finish it and have it uploaded by the end of the day!

I am feeling the urge to write an excuse as to why I haven't been writing, but at the moment they all seem to suck . . .

But anyways I am going to work on the next chapter!

* * *

><p>Spaz out!<p> 


	6. Chapter 5

Cleaning this Gun

A Bleach Fan Fic

* * *

><p>AN:: So this Fan Fiction was inspired by the song "Cleaning this Gun" by Rodney Atkins. I always loved that song, and I can totally see my Dad and older brothers doing the stuff described in the song. So enjoy

Well school is over, thankfully.

Summary:;: Karin & Toushirou are reflecting on a interesting weekend that occurred a few years back. A tale filled with funny, awkward, and interesting topics. KarinXToushirou and some IchigoXRukia.

This is a fan fiction story, I don't own anything.

* * *

><p>Chapter 5: Mornings in the Kurosaki Household<p>

****Karin POV

I never thought that seeing my brother leaving with my Toushirou was going to actually give me a little peace at mind ...

* * *

><p>I awoke in my bed to the yelling of Ichigo at goat face. I felt like punching both of them when I looked at the clock. It was 5:45 in the morning. I groaned and rolled over and covered my head with a pillow; a failed attempt to muffle the noise. I listened to their constant bicker for about twenty minutes, until I snapped. I tore out of my bed, stormed into Ichigo's bedroom and then kicked both of them in the face.<p>

"For Christ Sake! It's 6 am! Could your arguing at least wait until a decent hour!"

"KARIN! I AM SO SORRY I DISTUTBED YOUR SLEEP!" said goat face.

"What is all the ruckus?" said Rukia opening her closet door.

What happened next was probably one of the worse things that happened this morning. You see, goat face didn't know Rukia lived in Ichigo's closet ...

"WHAT'S THIS? WHOS THIS? WHY IS THEIR A GIRL IN YOUR CLOSET? OH MASAKI, OUR SON IS TRAFFICKING THIS NICE GIRL! OH WHAT HAVE I DONE WRONG!"

Goat Face then received a triple punch; one from Ichigo, one from Rukia and one from me. Thankfully it knocked him out cold, so we could at least manage some sort of story other than trafficking.

"Geez Rukia! You need to be more careful! Now we have to think of an excuse!" said Ichigo.

"Oh well it's all my fault? What was with the god awful racket for the last twenty minutes!"

"So it's my fault that you burst out of the closet when it was obvious that somebody else was in the room!"

"Why yes it-"

"Explain, please."

"Well you stupid strawberry were being insanely loud!"

"That's your explanation midget? That is pathetic!"

"What did you call me?"

"You heard me!"

"Guys cool it before I have to separate you two! Geez it's too early for this," I said.

Rukia and Ichigo looked at me first with ego-rage in their eyes, but slowly it faded to understanding. It really was too early for this. First goat face, and then having to break up a famous ichiruki fight. It was Rukia that said to me,

"Go back to sleep Karin, we will think of an excuse. We will try to be quiet about it too."

That was all the encouragement I needed. I turned and left my brothers room and returned to my room; Yuzu still fast asleep.

I flopped onto my bed and curled up trying to get some sleep. I was just on the verge of falling sleep when I my phone rang. I groaned and grabbed my cell phone. I looked at the caller; it was my soccer bud, Shigure.

"It better be damn important." I said as I answered his call.

"It is."

There was silence on the line.

"Well what is it?" I asked.

"Well Karin, i think I'm ... I think I'm..."

"Spit it out Shigure!"

"I think I am gay."

I was so shocked I couldn't respond. Shigure gay? What in the world? Him gay? My world was turned upside down.

"Well umm why do you think you're gay Shigure?" I asked, sitting up on my bed.

"Well I don't know. I have lately caught myself staring at the guys butts, and they are all staring at your boobs, an when I look at them I don't see what so amazing about them and I think there butts are so much more worthy of my time, theirs or your older brother, i mean he has an amazing ass. "

I was still in shock from what he just said. First he talked about guys butts, then my boobs, and then my older brothers butt.

"Karin?"

"Well Shigure, I will talk to you later. You just burdened my mind with a whole lot info that was not all needed. But thank you for telling me about your ... Um sexuality."

"Ok, goodbye Karin."

"Bye."

I closed my cell phone and fell back down onto my bed.

* * *

><p>I started drifting off, but of course not actually to sleep. Yuzu's constant poking of my arm made sure of that. I finally got annoyed enough to turn to her and ask,<p>

"What?"

"Can we talk?"

I groaned but sat up. I looked my twin in the eye and asked,

"So what's eating you sis?"

"I think I may be … possibly…"

"What?" I asked, being impatient.

"Pregnant."

I looked at my sister in a state of shock and then fainted.

* * *

><p>I regained consciousness and my sister was still at my bedside.<p>

"Please tell me it was a dream," I begged of her.

She shook her head. This was no dream. My twin, my innocent fifteen year old twin might be pregnant. I took several deep breathes and tried to keep calm.

"When did you lose your virginity?"

"Umm … about ten months ago," she replied.

I felt my jaw drop. Ten months ago we were still fourteen.

"Well you see, I was kinda lonely and it kinda just happened," said Yuzu, in her own defense.

I gritted my teeth and then took some more deep breathes.

"Who?"

"You know that guy on your soccer team? Shigure-kun?"

I looked at her in utter shock once more, remembering my earlier conversation with Shigure.

"He was the one that might have gotten you pregnant?" I asked.

"NO! No way, he was just the one who took my virginity. It is Jinta that may have… well … knocked me up."

"Jinta!" I said in a rage.

"Karin please don't go attacking him!" she said holding her hands up in an effort to stop me.

I clenched my fists and gritted my teeth and breathed some more.

"Did you guys use protection?"

Yuzu blushed a deep scarlet and replied,

"Of course!"

"Well then why do you think-"

"It broke."

"Oh."

I continued my breathing and started thinking this situation through. My sister may be pregnant. What am I supposed to do?

"Have you taken a test? Have you even missed your period?"

"My period is about four days late and as for the test; I couldn't bring myself to buy one."

"We could get dad to-"

"DO NOT TELL DAD!"

"Shush! Okay, me no telly. He will hear you if you are so loud!"

"Karin, I am scared."

I hugged my other half and breathed deeply for the thousandth time it seemed this morning. I had a feeling I was going to have to get Yuzu a pregnancy test sometime today, just to get rid of the feeling of uncertainty.

Just then Rukia popped her head in our room and said,

"The boys are about ready to go. Are you going to come down and say goodbye?"

I nodded and released my sister from my hug. I followed Rukia down to the front door.

I practically ran into Toushirou's arms when I saw him; I'd had a hell of a morning and just want to be held. I held him close and too soon had to let him go. I kissed his cheek and then turned to glare at my older brother.

"He better be back here on Sunday evening in the exact condition he is now."

The boys left right after.

I never thought that seeing my brother leaving with my Toushirou was going to actually give me a little peace at mind ...

* * *

><p>AN: Well you know you've had a bad morning whenn . . .

I feel sorry for Karin xD


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